Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s here now, writing to you.

I had run out of hope.

You are like me, then.

I am so tired of ignorant people like you calling us far rights, why democrats is so educated, they take things from their own mouth, you guys are totalitarian party?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I was tired of fighting.

Why doesn't California have the tools, people, means to put out these fires even though they know there will be fires every year?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Craig Breslow Discusses Red Sox’ Struggles, Future Plans - MLB Trade Rumors

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

And the sadness?

What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Youth overdoses from synthetic opioids are increasing. What parents should know - CNN

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Here's How Much Traders Expect Apple Stock to Move After WWDC - Investopedia

It’s still here.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Be who you already are.

World's Most Famous Waltz to Be Beamed into Space on Composer 200th Birthday, and EU Space Agency's 50th - Good News Network

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

The sadness was still there.

How common is it for siblings to fight over their parents' inheritance money? What is the best way to handle this type of situation?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Should you track your blood sugar with a continuous glucose monitor? - NPR

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.